Bacon, My Bacon, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

Oh Bacon, bacon, is there anything more wonderful than you? You delicious strip of crispy, salty, smoky pig! You are heaven in my mouth. You’re always there for me, breakfast, lunch on my salad, at dinner wrapped around another piece of meat enhancing it’s flavor, completing it like only a lover could…..how then, can I resist you on a fast food cheeseburger?

Oh Bacon, why have you forsaken me? What happened to you? They put you on a burger and you become this gummy, chewy, stringy clump of protein. Is there some strange chemical reaction that happens beneath that heat lamp warmed bun? You’re not you anymore, Bacon. My teeth now have to work special for you while the rest of the bite of burger sits waiting patiently in my mouth. You leap out of the burger and hang from my chin like kamikaze meat in one long gooey strip. I pull you away, then wipe the ketchup and tears from my face as I toss you onto the wrapper. Yes, while it hurts me, I’ve given up on you Bacon on a fast food burger. You’ve changed and not for the good. Maybe someday, we’ll run into each other at some little breakfast diner…I’ll see you sitting there and I’ll remember the good times and lift you slowly to my lips again and smile.

 

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