Horror High Class of 2015

Prompt Day # 12: Write the graduation speech for Horror High (or any of its extension campuses: “Werewolf U” or “School for Schizos” or “Parasite Prep Academy” …. You get the picture)


Horror High Class of 2015


Welcome students, creators, alter egos and graduates. Every year, for the last twelve hundred that I have been principal of this establishment, I find myself surprised that another year has passed by like a rabid bat in the night. This year has been an exceptional one for Horror High and I would like to take a few moments to highlight some of our many accomplishments.

We started the year with our most successful blood drive ever. The two pints collected for every one ingested was a regional record. Dr. Acula from the science dept. should be commended as should all our graduating seniors. I hope you all can continue to show the same restraint as you go out into the world for eternity.

The Biology Club took first place in this year’s body building contest. Some of you may not know how difficult it is nowadays to obtain high quality body parts. These guys and girl, I didn’t forget you, Francine Stein, really dug in deep, working many all-nighters to put together this win.

Our senior class zombies participated yet again in the Relay for Life. They may not have raised much money, but they certainly raised the dead! Seriously though, those guys can move when motivated. Good job, Zombies…grades aren’t everything.

I would. of course, be amiss if I didn’t also mention the loss of one of our dear students. Keith Wolf was accidently killed during a woodshop accident when the nail gun was loaded with silver housing nails. No one blames you, Igor Handy, if I had a nickle for every time an evil minion screwed up, I’d be living in a castle in Transylvania. As it is, though, he is gone and at peace. We will miss him.

Now, before the telekinetics toss your graduation caps into the air, I would like to introduce the Valedictorian and Salutatorian and invite him, ahem, them to give their speeches. Henry Jeckyll, Jr. is our Valedictorian this year. His speech is entitled “It’s Never Too Late to Change”. Following that, there will be a brief refreshment break followed by a speech by our Salutatorian Edward Hyde, Jr. His speech is entitled “Just Do It”.

Again, Congratulations to the class of 2015, I have no doubt you will all go out into this world and do some greatly horrific things.