Acme’s Revenge

Prompt Day #25: Torture a popular cartoon character or personality from children’s television.

 

Acme’s Revenge

 

“Wakey, wakey Mr. Roadrunner. We have some things to discuss.”

“Meep”

“You see you will not be going anywhere. Those Acme rail spikes have been hammered through both of your skinny, little chicken feet. My name is Boris and I represent the Acme Corporation, purveyor of many fine weapons and clever trapping products. You, Mr. Roadrunner, have been making my friends at Acme look very bad for a very long time. They have asked me to have a nice little chat with you about this.”

“meep, meep”

“What was that, speak up, Mr. Roadrunner. You are not so clever now, with your fast feet al nailed down. Now, you will tell me how it is you managed to run through the Acme Fake Tunnel Paint.”

“Meep!”

“That is very unfortunate, Mr. Roadrunner. Pleading ignorance is not going to help you. You see these extra-large Acme hedge clippers? Say goodbye to your perky tail feathers.”

Clip, Clip,Clip

“MEEP! MEEP!”

“Now, are you ready to talk? Tell me about how you outsmarted the giant rubber band that was meant to trip you. You blew right past it. How did you do this? HOW?”

“Meep. Meep, meep.”

“NO!! You are not that fast, impossible! You are not faster than our Rocket Skates either! That was the wrong answer, Mr. Roadrunner. And now you are going into the Acme Automatic Chicken Plucker . Say goodbye to your feathers. Mwahahaha”

“Meep! Meep meep meep!”

“Oh, yes, I know that Mr. Coyote misused many of our fine products. He has also been dealt with. Let us say that he has gone off a cliff that he will not be walking back from accordion style. And now is time for you to say goodbye to your feathers. I hear the desert nights get very cold.”

Plop, kurplunk, rumble, rumble, spurt, rumble, bump.

“Meep, Meep!”

“Look at you, now. You are a joke! Out run our Acme Rocket Sled now. You’re nothing but a rubber chicken! Ha. Listen to me very carefully, Mr. Roadrunner. If you want to use those feet of yours again, you will tell us everything. You see this Acme Anvil? It will smash that overly large beak of yours and you will never enjoy a nice pile of birdseed again. Talk!”

“Meep, Meep. Meep, Meep, Meep. Meep, Meep”

“The Animators? Is that so? You say they sabotaged all of our products so that you could escape? Can you name names?”

“Meep”

“You see this Acme Portable Manhole? I am placing it right here, Roadrunner. If what you have told us is true, you will have the privilege of watching every one of those so-called artists plunge into the abyss, but if you are lying to me, Mr. Roadrunner, oh, if you are lying, I will break your scrawny little chicken legs and then I will crush your cartoonishly large beak and then I will grab you by your wiry neck and toss you into the hole. I will then take the hole and throw it over the same cliff from which your coyote friend received his just desserts. Do you understand?”

“Meep. Meep,Meep”

“Chuck Jones, Mel Blanc, Michael Maltese, and Paul Julian. Ok, I will find them and I will make them very sorry. When I am through with them, you will give me more names?”

“Meep. Chuckle, Meep”

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