A Purposeful Wasted Life

Prompt Day #124: Write the stream-of-consciousness of a man falling to his death from the top of a skyscraper.

 

A Purposeful Wasted Life

 

Well, this is it. No going back now. A life wasted should end in ruins I suppose.

All this time, I thought I was onto something, something that would change the world for the better. Bailey. Oh, Bailey, so many birthdays I should have been there for but I told myself one day, you’d understand. You would be proud of me. Now I’ll just be one more disappointment to you. I’m sorry honey. Maybe someday you’ll forgive your daddy. I should have put you first, you should have been my top priority.

Adrian. Always so patient with me. Supporting my dream. Being a single mom to Bailey when I couldn’t be there. You raised our beautiful daughter while I obsessed over cells in a petri dish. I watched them grow and change, develop into something new and different all the while my little girl was doing that under your loving hand. You deserve better than me. I hope you find it.

It always seemed to happen so fast when I saw someone fall to their death on TV, why is this taking so long. It’s so cold, I didn’t think about how cold it would be.

Why didn’t my formula work though? I went over every number, every equation so many times. It worked with the bacteria in the dishes, in vitro. Why? Why didn’t it work in vivo?

I didn’t do it for the fame, hell I wouldn’t even have named the drug after me. It should have worked.

No time. No time to fix it. I didn’t have it in me to start over. It hurt my brain to think about it.

Will it hurt? Hitting the ground. How long will it take to die actually? They always say things like ‘it happened so fast’ or ‘he never felt any pain’ but how do they know? What if there is nothing after death. Oh my God, I’ll never see Adrian or Bailey again. I should have…..

 

“Dr. Blakely! No! Oh God! Jake! Jake, get out here. Blakely jumped! He’s dead”

“Oh Shit, Oh Fuck, Call 911.”

“Oh, Dr. Blakely, I’m so, so sorry. You were right. The cancer’s gone. It was there yesterday and today it’s just gone. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to take you out to lunch, to celebrate. Dr. Blakely, can you hear me? You were right. Your drug it worked, it just took longer in vivo. Oh, I’m so sorry. I should have told you, I had no idea.”

“Ma’am, we need you to step back now, please.”

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