Reasons I Want to Kill You

Prompt Day #141: Without naming names, write a piece where your spouse, partner, or “significant other” uses your worst habits against you.

Not my best, I admit. Each verse is stand alone. It doesn’t really flow. I just couldn’t come up with anything…probably because I have no real bad habits! Ha. Plus, look at how petty my husband can be.

 

Reasons I Want to Kill You

I. 

Why must you mumble when you’re talking to me

Wandering around and all I can hear

Is the sound of your voice

Buzzing all ‘round my ear

And it makes me want to strangle you

 II.

If you don’t like the song that’s playing right now

Just wait three minutes and it will be done

Quit turning the stations

Holy shit just pick one

Or I might have to drive this car into a tree

 III.

I like the fan running so I can sleep

Turn on the blankets that make their own heat!

Do you have to complain

About your damn feet?

Because I swear, I will smother you with my pillow

 IV.

A long thirteen years that we’ve been together

Dealing with all of your idiosyncrasies

They drive me to consider

Murder fantasies

But then, admittedly, I’d probably miss you.

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