Dirty is The Mind in He Who Holds The Knife

Prompt Day #148: Write the interior monologue of a perverted or deranged surgeon during a routine operation.

WARNING: EXTREMELY EXPLICIT AND COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND NO JUDGING….and if you are a general surgeon, please forgive me. I went with the perverted surgeon since most are already deranged. 🙂

Dirty is The Mind in He Who Holds The Knife


I should tell them to start prepping women’s bellies up to their breast, then I would have something to look at during these boring gallbladders. How do they manage to fold the gowns up just far enough for me to see the slope? Enough to know it’s there, so close and yet so inaccessible. Damn, I should have been a plastic surgeon.

Alright let’s get this show on the road. I’m getting a hard on…..Wonder what it would feel like if I made this incision big enough to stick my dick in instead of the trocar. I mean, it’s all warm and soft in there, and it might feel better than a vagina, the bowel would be all wrapped around you and it would be peristalsing . It would feel like having sex and getting a hand job at the same time. Oh man, it’d be nice to give that a try. Wonder what they’d say if I just jumped up on top of her and started going at it into her belly button. Hah.

I ought to tell that cute little nursing student that my pager is going off, ask her to reach up under my gown and get it off my waist band. ‘No, no Honey, a little lower, towards the front a little more…’ Problem is, I’m so keyed up now, I’d probably blow right then and there. Hey no big deal, you’re not considered sterile below the waist anyways, right. I’d be like ‘Nurse, sponge me please’ haha. Yeah. Oh for the good old days when no one ever questioned the doctor. I missed my time. Now you can’t even call one Honey or else they’re writing you up.

Woah, check out the Fitz-Hugh-Curtis on that liver. I like a girl who puts out.

“What’s all those stringy things around her liver, doctor?”

“That is evidence of previous pelvic infection or an STD, where the pus oozes out the tubes and rolls up to their liver while they are sleeping and forms all those adhesions. It’s called Fitz-Hugh-Curtis.”

“Eeew, yuck”

“Hmm, did I make you squirm?”

They ought to let me take that little student home, I’d teach her how to be a good nurse. Teach her the right way to treat a doctor.

Let’s get this nasty gallbladder out of her, makes me think twice about screwing her….but then, if I tried the hole in the belly trick, might save myself from getting chlamydia. Maybe I should have been a Gyn, then I would know a patient’s clean before doing her under anesthesia. Hmm, I should take to the anesthetist after this case, maybe he and I could work out a deal.

I should tell that student to scrub in and come run the camera for me. Then, we’ll squeeze in here together and I’ll probably brush up against her tits a few times. ‘Sorry I keep touching your boobs’ I’ll say, she’ll blush.

Eh, well that’s it. Better close up shop here. If I get done here soon enough, I can watch some porn and rub one out before clinic. Maybe I’ll get lucky and there’ll be a female with an inguinal hernia…and oops, I’m all out of gloves. Hehehe.