Prompt Day #155: Write a magical spell, applying your talent for dark humor.
Listen, I’ve done a selfie or two, we all have, but this spell right here is for all those (and you know who you are) who think the world wants to see every one of your “sexy” photos that you’ve taken from high above you (thereby avoiding the dreaded double chin and also sneaking in a little cleavage) or the ones with your lips pushed out. (Girls please, I know you’ve seen the jokes on line–it ISN’T SEXY. I swear to god you look ridiculous) or my personal favorite; the “I look so damn good I couldn’t even wait til I got somewhere to take a picture of myself so here I am in the car.” Oh how I wish this spell really worked….but where would I get a corpse’s thumb this time of year?
Protects the caster against a barrage of selfies every time they open their social media and it will place a curse on someone chosen by the caster so that they will never again be able to take a “good” selfie—instead they will be plagued with poor lighting, blinks, sneezes, and double chins.
Conceit, ego and vanity
Your display of self-love sickens me
That I should see your face each day
Because you think you’re such a “bae”
Into this vessel I shall place
Narcissus pollen for your love of face
A shard of mirror where you like to stare
And take photos in your underwear
A duck’s bill cut in two long strips
To symbolize your pursed out lips
A dead man’s thumb upon a spike
To let you know that I dislike
A fly-line tied with confidence
For you to fish for compliments
Pour gasoline and set aflame
A note writ with your first name
Let it burn within this pot
Until your ability to take a shot
As perfect as you think you are
Has gone the way of faded star
And every photo you try to take
Will make the viewer writhe and shake.
Into the dark I place this brew
And pray the gods my words ring true.