Christmas Eve To Do List

Prompt Day #170: Write the to-do list of a schizophrenic.

 

Christmas Eve To-Do List

 

  • Bake and ice sugar cookies
  • Wrap presents
  • Place punji sticks in fireplace
  • Get ham prepped
  • Hang stockings
  • Set and put mousetraps in stockings
  • Decorate tree
  • Decapitate Elf on the Shelf
  • Open last door on advent calendar
  • Go Christmas Caroling
  • Shank anyone who doesn’t bring you Figgy Pudding
  • Put out cookies for Santa
  • Put out celery and apples for Reindeer
  • Put razorblades in apples
  • Make hot cocoa
  • Read A Christmas Carol
  • Go find a crippled boy to kick
  • Watch “It’s A Wonderful Life”
  • Take the tiny balls out of the jingle bells
  • Ice the roof
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