Evil Little Toaster

Prompt Day #246: Choose an inanimate object from your kitchen cabinet. Give it a mouth. Allow it to unexpectedly speak one morning to a child while he is preparing his own breakfast.

Evil Little Toaster

“Hey there, Matt! Getting some cereal again?”

“Who said that?”

“Me. Your toaster.”

“You can talk?”

“Yep. I just don’t say much too often, but I’m sorry, I can’t stay quiet any longer.”

“Are you mad, Toaster?”

“Yes, Matty, I am. Why are you having cereal again? Why don’t you want to have some toast?”

“Well, I’m not allowed to cook without Mom or Dad with me, so I can only make cereal.”

“But wouldn’t you rather have some toast…Nice, warm toast on this chilly September morning?”

“Yeah, but on Saturdays, Mom gets a bath in the morning instead of a shower and I’m hungry now.”

“Maybe your Dad, then?”

“On Saturdays, Dad takes a bath with Mom. It’s their alone time. I’m not allowed to bother them until they’re done.”

“But you’re hungry now. Hmm, that is a problem, isn’t it?”

“I can just have cereal.”

“Wait, wait, wait…I have an idea….what if you take me upstairs, plug me in beside the tub and Mom or Dad can make toast for you?

“Yeah, but I told you, I’m not allowed to go in there.”

“Well what if you need them? What if there is an emergency?”

“I can knock and they pull the curtain and then I can go in. But I’m not supposed to bother them for stuff like this.”

“Ok, look, how about this? Put a couple pieces of bread in me, take me upstairs, knock on the door, go in, plug me in, push the bread down, AND THEN just push me in through the curtain and Mom and Dad can watch me while I cook!”

“Do you think they’ll get mad?”

“No. If they ask you what you’re doing, say it’s a surprise. If they act mad, say you were trying to make them breakfast. They can’t be mad at that!”

“Ok, come on, Toaster!”