Prompt Day #271: Dismember a character from a children’s TV show or family film.
I suppose I am showing my age with this one, but still the title popped into my head (thinking about cartoons) and then Jessica’s classic line came next. Then it clicked. There are some references you’ll only get if you are familiar with Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Disney history, movies and Disneyworld. But this was just a quick, fun piece. Hope it makes you smile.
Drawn and Quartered
Jessica Rabbit lies with arms and legs sprawled. Her gloved wrists and bare ankles tied to the corners of the page. Her bosom is heaving, and the thigh high slit in her skirt leaves little to the imagination.
“I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.” She sobs, mascara and blue eyeshadow form rivers marring her otherwise perfect complexion.
“We’re not buying it, Jess.” Snow White bends down inches from Jessica’s face. The two diametrically oppose each other; sweet cherubic features of an adolescent just blossoming into womanhood and the voluptuous lips of sex personified.
“You aren’t Disney material, quite frankly.” Jasmine shouts. She stands at the top of the page above Jessica’s right shoulder.
“Look at me,” Ariel tells her. She shakes her luxurious red hair and it bound and bounces similar to Jessica’s famed tresses. Ariel’s breasts curve above her b-cup shells and her doe eyes blink flirtatiously. “No one can help the way we’re drawn, we can only accept it and rise above it. Did you seen me out there playing patty cake with Michael Eisner? No. I took my role as a Disney leading lady seriously. You never have.”
“But you’re all girls, teenagers. I was drawn to be a sex symbol. I can tone it down, I want to make a come-back. I want to reopen my shop in Disney Springs and I want to sell all our merchandise, not just mine. A women’s only thing. Girls, Let me do right.” Jessica has managed to slow her sobs to plead her case.
“But Jessica, you don’t even have animal friends. Every Disney girl has at least one animal friend. Who’s going to help you run the shop? Hmm? Do you have a Fairy Godmother we don’t know about?” Cinderella asks. Her mice have scattered strategically around the paper. Some have already started nibbling the edges.
“Roger! I have Roger. My Hunny-Bunny. He’s an animal, he’s my…”
“He’s your husband. Which is weird enough. I mean, maybe if he was under a spell, like my Beast, then I could understand your attraction to him.” Belle say, stepping onto the page near Jessica’s left thigh. “But he’s just a goofy Rabbit. He’s not a prince or anything. So, it doesn’t count.”
“Why are we even talking to her? We had a plan!” Mulan speaks up. She has hold of the paper with both fists. She begins to tear. “This is war, ladies. She has to go. Do we really want another Miley Cyrus on our hands?”
“Come on,” Jessica pleads “I’m not that bad. I’ve never posed nude, I’m just sultry.” She can hear the paper tearing above her head where Jasmine stands. She cranes her neck around to look up. The fault line is heading for her shoulder. “No! No, please don’t”
“I’m sorry, Sweetie” Snow White tells her. “We have our reputations to think about, our merchandise, and our husbands.” She nods to Jasmine and Jessica’s right arm is torn off at the shoulder. Mushu sets it aflame. Jessica’s screams drown out the sounds of Cinderella’s mice as they rip and tear at her left arm, digesting long strips of appendage.
“You know, they’ll just redraw me.” She spits, angry now but frightened too. Will they? Does anyone even remember her? Damn Disney. She should have signed with Universal. Fucking Betty Boop still has her own shop, still posing with fans who maybe didn’t know her before but would certainly get to know her after being acquainted. She was ten times hotter than Betty.
“I’m sorry, Jessica” Belle says tearing the red glitter covered left leg off at the thigh, “I know it’s beastly, but it’s really for the best.”
“You’ve been drawn.” Merida says running in late but in time to viciously rip off the fourth and final extremity. “And you’ve been quartered.”
“What should we do with the rest of her?” Cinderella asked?
“Call Rapunzel, see if she can come paint some modesty on this scrap of trash.” Snow White answered. “Come on girls, let’s go get a manicure at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.