A Letter from Fat Camp

Prompt Day #282: Write as if under duress

A Letter from Fat Camp

 

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you so much for sending me to this camp. Please ignore the letter I sent saying this was a crazy torture prison and I wanted you to come get me. I wrote that letter before I gave the camp a chance. I know you are spending a lot of your hard earned money on helping me to become a healthier version of me. The things I said about ten hour hikes and foraging for our suppers were exaggerations brought on by the stress of what I now know was “junk food detox”. I’ve only been here for five days and I have already lost ten pounds! So you’re getting more than your money’s worth, you are getting a healthier child.

Don’t worry, we get to play lots of fun games like medicine ball volleyball, in fact my team gets to use the 15 pound ball, so we must be really good. On Wednesdays we do crafts. Our first craft was a sculpture of ourselves. We put weights into the clay so that each of our “Golems” weighs the amount of extra weight we have. We all like our statues so much we carry them with us at all times. We even strap them to our backs during medicine volleyball and hiking for dinner.

I just want to clarify that hiking for dinner means we have learned a lot about survival in the woods and what you could eat IF you were left there all day and night, not that we were at all. We actually eat a lot; all you can eat fiddle head ferns, mushrooms, and for a bit of protein did you know you can toast grub worms over an open flame and they taste like chewy popcorn? In fact, after I’m done with this letter and my daily chores I’ll probably enjoy a grub snack.

My favorite part of camp is group chat in the lodge at night. It’s all about self-esteem building. We get paired up with people and act out skits. Last night, for instance, I was the patient and my partner was the plastic surgeon. I told him all the parts I didn’t like about my body and he agreed. Then he told me how to fix them all so that I can learn to be a better person. I felt really good about myself after that.

So, don’t worry about me. I love it here, and I bet when the summer is over, you won’t even recognize me, I’ll be so thin. And Healthy too of course, can’t forget how healthy this whole thing is. They really care about kids’ wellbeing here, and in order to take such good care of us, it costs money. My camp counselor wanted me to remind you that it is ok for you to send me money. We do have accounts here that are managed by the counselors. You can buy special things with your money at camp shop. They have lots of great stuff like warm blankets, bug spray, and toilet paper. So, if you can spare some extra, I’d enjoy that very much.

Well, I have to go now, it’s movie night so we have to get dressed for it. Tonight’s movie is Sweating to The Oldies starring Richard Simmons. Can’t wait.

Love,

Your rapidly shrinking son, Bobby.

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