Daily Motivations for the Criminally Insane

Prompt Day #352: Fill out the calendar page of a daily or weekly planner for a deranged criminal

So I’m changing this one a little bit. I was thinking about planners and I always end up buying ones with funny sayings or affirmations on every page. So instead of listing things to do like “pick up a dozen eggs, buy shampoo, strangle a prostitute…” I decided it would be funnier to think up the daily affirmations that might be found in a planner for deranged criminals.


Daily Motivations for the Criminally Insane

  1. Put yourself out there! Meet new and different victims, it makes you harder to catch.
  2. Keep working towards your dream, today might be the day you get your media moniker!
  3. Victims come in all shapes and sizes, when you discriminate you’re only limiting yourself.
  4. If at first you don’t succeed, try a different weapon.
  5. Blood spatter is art, take time to appreciate it before fleeing.
  6. Blunt force trauma is the new gunshot wound.
  7. Learn to say no. Sometimes the moment isn’t right. Walk away before you get caught.
  8. Reward yourself, keep a memento from your victim!
  9. Give a piece of yourself to others, leave a calling card. It goes both ways!
  10. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you are indeed The Executioner.